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2 Steps Forward, 3 Steps Back

April 16, 2019

Hey mama's! It has been a week, let me tell you.. and not a good one. This was one of those weeks where you literally just want to curl up in a blanket and hide from all your responsibilities, but we all know as a mom that's not really an option. I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally, my anxiety is at an all time high and my damn back hurts OKAY?! I've snapped at my toddler more times than I want to admit this week. I've counted down the minutes until her bedtime. I lost it and broke down and cried right in front of her. This week has been HARD. We are at a turning point though and that's why I finally have it in me to sit down and get it all out. That's why I wanted to start this blog. Not all days or weeks are good being a mom. Sometimes its really really hard and I just want you to know that you are absolutely not alone! No matter how much it might feel like it. You are not alone. 


So lets backtrack so I can tell you what started this week from hell. Potty training. If you read my last post you would know that potty training went GREAT! I was over the moon with how quickly Hayden picked up going pee on the potty. I am so proud of her. Just for a little refresher, she was still sleeping in a diaper at bedtime and during her nap, which I was totally fine with! I didn't put a lot of pressure on the whole potty training thing because I knew if she was ready she would grasp it. Well, everyday after her nap, she would usually go #2 in her diaper. Once again, I was fine with that! Going #2 in the potty is a scary thing for MOST toddlers. I knew Hayden would get there eventually. Boy was I wrong. I mean sooooo wrong! About 2 weeks ago, she started ripping her diaper off after naptime and holding her poop. So I figured, okay, she doesn't want to wear her diaper. Awesome! I started encouraging her to go #2 on the potty. That was a straight up fight and potty training quickly turned into what I didn't want it to! I talked to so many moms. I got so much great advice. She pooped a few times in her undies and I never made a big deal about it because the last thing I would want is for her to get embarrassed. Well, that was a huge failure. The poor girl was beyond upset that she had pooped in her undies and that was the beginning of the end. After that, Hay held her #2 for 7 days. SEVEN DAYS! I tried EVERYTHING, you guys. This week our poor girl has been in so much pain. It was aweful. Every little thing sets her off. She is so beyond agitated. If she got the urge to go poop, she would literally curl up on the couch and not move a muscle. Now, of course I offered her a diaper. I told her, "It's okay to go potty in your diaper! You'll feel so much better!" No luck. I couldn't do a thing right it felt like. She was up all night with a stomach ache, she was grabbing her tummy and screaming in pain. Literally the worst thing I have been through as a mom thus far. I was helpless. On day seven we finally went to the doctor. They immediately prescribed her Miralax and a chewable chocolate laxative. We didn't get to see her normal doctor, but the lady we did see was super nice. She politely told me that Hayden was probably more than ready to go pee on the potty, but a lot of kids just aren't ready to be 100% potty trained for awhile longer and we really want to keep potty training as positive of an experience as possible. I 10000000% agree with her. That's all I wanted to do too!


At this point, Hay wants nothing to do with the potty anymore. Even getting her to sit to pee turned into a complete meltdown. Every. Time. Mommy is exhausted, I have an extremely stressed toddler, and that's why we have made the decision to just say screw it to all things potty related for the time being. The last thing I want to do is add more stress to our 2 year old and I can't mentally take anymore days like what we have had right now. Especially being 21 weeks pregnant and extremely emotional already. Needless to say, I feel like a complete failure. It's like we took 2 steps forward and a million steps back, but you know what? It's going to be okay. She is so dang smart, you guys. I know when she is ready, she will get this potty training thing down like nobody's business. But in the meantime, I'll change 1,000 diapers until that day comes. So mama's, if you have been through anything like this, just know that you are not the only mom out there to feel like you completely failed. You didn't. I promise, your kid wont be 5 years old and still not potty trained and holding their poop for days on end... at least I hope not ;)


So, cheers to a new week! Tomorrow is always a new day. I'm choosing to not hold onto this as a failure, but a learning experience and I know our next go around will be different.


Happy Tuesday, mama's! XOXO 

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